Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
