hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
