Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
