i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
