eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
