He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
