Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
