She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
