Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
