I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How does it feel to date your dad?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
