I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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