Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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