so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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