That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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