If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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