aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
