Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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