i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
