I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
