he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His hands were made for my vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
