and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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