I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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