honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
