this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
