If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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