this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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