wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So vagazzling was a success
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
