I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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