Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
