Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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