is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
