I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
