im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
