There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
All the doctor said was why
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
