My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize