carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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