I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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