tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
