So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We're too hungover to prance.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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