omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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