Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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