this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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