So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
