im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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