we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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