1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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