I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
