It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
