Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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