I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
