So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
