this beer tastes like vomit already
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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