people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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