why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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