the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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