Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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