I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
