I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
