We're like a lot better than the average bears
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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