She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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