like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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