It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just cropdusted the office
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
