So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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