Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize