I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
