Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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